In most country, spring start in March. But here northern Sweden, Spring starts from May and end during the last week of June. Spring is a favourite time for the Swede because it mean more outdoor activities like barbecuing,spring cleaning in the garden (clearing old leaf from the garden) getting rid of thin ice, cars maintenance, planting and sun tanning. Someday the temperature can rise & drop within a day between (5- 27 degree) therefore dressing can be a little troublesome..you want to make sure you don´t wear too much or too little. If too little, there are chance you might catch a cold.
We had been busy clearing old leafs from our garden over the weekend.We´d collected more than 14 bags of leafs and there´s more to come. Nelina has been such a great helper, she helped us sweeped the leaf the whole day without complaining that it is boring. I saw some sadness on her face when our neighbour kid Moa were out playing with a friend in their garden. Of course Nelina would love to join them but was too shy to ask. I encouraged her to go ask them if she could join them but she was too afraid of rejection.
I think this behaviour is due to low self-esteem, afraid of being rejected.
As her Mum, I can only give her encouragements but it hurt to see her struggling with the pain. Each time Moa & her friend parade outside our house, it felt that they were teasing Nelina and it has come to a point that I was tired of their pathetic behaviour. Nelina on the other hand was still hoping that they would come ask if she want to join them, that I think is also pathetic. Does it really cost so much to ASK?
I realized that her inadequacy to socialize could be from Mattias and part of my below average self-esteem. I know I need to work on my self-esteem first before I could help Nelina. According to Mia Törnblom "Self-esteem" CD, writting 3 things that make us feel good about our self everyday for a long term will help us build up our self-esteem. I think this make alot of sense,we need to feel good about ourself before we could feel good for others, why did´nt I thought of that? Today, I pull out a note book I called it "I am good" journal book & start recording what we are good for.
I wrote mine as:
1. Other´s don´t live with me everyday, I live within myself every minutes of my life. Only I can help myself to feel better about myself, I am glad that I take time to think about this issue & seek help.
2. I am willing to train on my self-esteem.
3. I am more balance mentally nowadays (compare to 2 years ago). I accept who I am and will only look at the good things in life.
Nelina wrote hers as:
1. Yesterday Moa came over & want to borrow our laptop. Since my computer hour was over ,I told her it was not possible to use the computer. It felt good to be able to say "no" sometimes.
2. It´s great spending more time with Mum.
3. I have more patience when shopping with Mum today.
