23 March 2009 +6 quite sunny
I think I must have suffered from PMDD - Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder over the weekend (PMDD is a severe form of a common problem called premenstrual syndrome, or PMS. About 75 percent of women of childbearing age have some PMS problems, during this time it´s hard to take control of life over anywhere from 1-2 weeks before period.) For my case, I was more tense, irritable, tired, depressed. I could strangle my daughter´s Hello Kitty cat or eat a big back of potato's chip by myself! My mum used to called me "Crazy horse" when I was teenager undergoing PMDD.My relationships with Mattias and Nelina suffered because of my radical mood swings. I hate who I am during that period. I literally hear myself nagging, yelling, and feel the tenseness and anger on small fault, the worst thing is I have not control over it! Sometime, I end up crying under my blanket feeling hopeless! My family really must have love me dearly, how can they put up with this shit every month? I have decided to give them warning prior to my disorder so they know that it´s not their fault that I turned crazy! Hopefully they will understand me and able to forgive me for all my stupid behaviors. When I'm clearheaded I´m always very positive and always look for great things to do, like vent to a friend, write my blog, journal, etc., but when I'm in the midst of it all I can´t do all this. May be it´s time to seek help.
